The Right Thing

 For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.  Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good.  So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.  For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.  For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.     Romans 7:15-19

This passage is me, in a nutshell.  It's not always about sin, per se, but I guess that is really what it boils down to.

I was up early this morning.  VERY early (for me)!  I had volunteered to take my husband to the airport for an early morning flight.  For once, I was going to do the "smart" thing, and take advantage of those early morning hours.  It all started off so well...  I stopped at Walmart on the way home (and concluded that early morning is really the best time to go to Walmart if you're like me and don't like crowds!).  Returning home, it was still earlier than I normally wake up, so there was the temptation to go back to bed for a while, but I resisted.  I cleaned off the kitchen table, got out my Bible study, and dug in.  Motivated, I followed that up with a pretty decent cleaning of the kitchen, clearing out leftovers from the fridge, washing up the dishes, gathering all the trash from around the house and taking it out along with the recyclables, then dragging it all down to the street as it is trash day.  I started the laundry, checked my email, and had some breakfast.  And this is where it all started to fall apart.  The early morning started to catch up with me, and I began to feel sleepy.  My plan was to exercise, but then I realized that I had time for a quick nap before it would be time to take my daughter to work... Since I'd had such a productive morning already, and I HAD been up extra early, I figured, "why not?" 

I knew the answer to the "why not" - that quick morning nap would be harder to wake up from than just staying up in the first place.  I KNOW that napping generally leaves me feeling more tired than I am before the nap.  I KNOW that exercise energizes me and leaves me feeling better.  I have experienced these things over and over, and yet, almost always, if faced with the option of a nap or a workout, I will choose the nap.  Ridiculous!

I vocalized all this on our drive to my daughter's place of employment this morning - after I fought my way out of my nap coma.  My daughter is very kind to let me just rant on a regular basis.  I don't know how much she actually listens to what I'm saying...  I really hope she tunes most of it out, or she must question my sanity at times!  

But as I was bemoaning my tendency to choose what make me feel bad over what makes me feel good, I was reminded that the apostle Paul had expressed a similar insanity:

 For I do not understand my own actions... For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.

Now I don't know that a nap is inherently evil, but there is a principle here that I think manifests itself in other ways in my life as well.  And what it really boils down to is a lack of discipline on my part.  It's learning to choose the BEST things over the GOOD things.   And most certainly, always choosing what is RIGHT over what is WRONG.  Or simply choosing to do what is RIGHT instead of doing NOTHING. 


So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin. James 4:17

I'm not often tempted to do something blatantly wrong.  I am the "good girl".  I feel guilty if I look at the speedometer while driving and catch myself speeding.  Lately, I've been struggling with the number of yellow lights I run!  Lying, cheating, stealing... These are not now, nor have they every been real temptations for me.  My struggle is with doing nothing.  I am great on ideas, but not-so-great on implementation.  

So here's what I'm realizing: doing the right thing for me is not really a matter of doing the RIGHT thing, so much as it is a matter of DOING the right thing...

Which is what I need to get busy doing right now!

... Just a thought...