Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Philippians 2:3
I have been blessed over the years to attend some churches with really good preachers. The church we currently attend is one such place. So, I confess, when I showed up at church yesterday and discovered that the lead pastor was not preaching, I was a little disappointed. But, I saw who the speaker of the day was to be, and I felt a little encouraged. He's preached before and done a pretty good job, so I thought it would be okay.
He began his message with a bit of review of the series our pastor has been in. And then he announced the topic of the day: self esteem.
Those who know me well know that "self esteem" is kind of a hot-button issue for me. I work in a sector which traditionally worships the ideas of "high self-esteem" and "positive self-image." I have a little different perspective on the matter.
So when I heard that the sermon was to be on self-esteem, I admit I did an inner eye roll and started to check out, thinking about where we might go for lunch after church and what I hoped to accomplish in the afternoon...
But, the Lord brought a little conviction into my wandering thoughts, and so I tried to re-engage.
I don't personally hold to the idea that a lot of people are suffering from LOW self-esteem. I do, however, believe that most folks have some level of struggle with the issue of self-esteem in general. It's not that we need to think more highly of ourselves. We need to learn to think more "rightly" of ourselves.
When I was pretty young, I remember Whitney Huston releasing a song called. "The Greatest Love of All." Everyone LOVED that song! And the self-esteem narrative got a huge boost. Everyone, it seemed, bought into the idea that self-love was the greatest love of all. The concept was even preached from many church pulpits!
I took issue with the concept even in my youth.
Here's the thing - I really don't believe that most people are struggling with loving themselves.
If people truly did not love themselves, they wouldn't be putting on their seatbelts when they get in their cars. They wouldn't look both ways before crossing the street. They certainly wouldn't be wearing masks and worrying about viruses this year! The self-preservation instinct alone is a pretty good indicator that people are not struggling with loving themselves.
It's not that folks think too little of themselves. That doesn't mean that people necessarily think too highly of themselves. Some do, to be sure (although psychologists would try to attribute an overinflated ego to a problem with low self-esteem).
I believe that most folks really just think TOO OFTEN of themselves.
It is our nature to be selfish. We literally are born that way. Babies know nothing of the world around them. They simply know how they feel. And since a baby can't meet his own needs, he cries until someone comes and gives him what he wants. His whole existence is centered around how he feels and who can help him feel good.
Sadly, too many people never learn to think beyond themselves. Many people continue to live self-centered lives beyond infancy and into adulthood.
What gets categorized as low or high self-esteem is really just too much focus on self. And the fix is really pretty simple - stop looking in and start looking out. It's not that we need to think less of ourselves, but that we need to think of ourselves less.
As Paul writes in Philippians 2:4, Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
As we learn to look beyond ourselves, the paradox is that WE reap the rewards! As I cease looking inwardly and start looking out, I find that I am happier, more content, and less stressed.
Anxiety creeps in when I spend too much time thinking about myself and my needs, but freedom and peace are the products of focusing my time and attention on God and others.
So the challenge today is to focus not on a HIGHer self-esteem but on a RIGHTer self-esteem. It could just be the path to the peace you've been seeking.
...Just a thought...
