Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5
Last week I missed a goal I had set.
I stressed out over it, frustrated with myself over a matter of minor consequence. I believed it to be a setback. I believed that by not completing the rough draft of my next book in the time I had allotted for myself, that I had failed.
Life happened. It’s another one of those transitional times in my life, and if you’ve read very many of the things I’ve written, then you probably already know this: I don’t generally deal with change very well.
Some really great things have happened that have put me a little behind schedule.
I spent several days away with my husband celebrating our thirtieth anniversary. That was one of the best getaways we’ve had in the course of those thirty years together. But I got a little behind in my writing while I was away.
My husband got called for several interviews and I traveled with him to the various potential job locations. I was there to support and encourage him, to talk through logistics, to explore the areas that could potentially be our next stop along this journey, and just to keep him company. Jeff got a couple of job offers, and we were able to talk through pros and cons and pray through some things. It was good to be able to go along with him, but that put me a little farther behind.
Now that we have a new destination in sight, it’s time to think about making our move and relocating the house on wheels. While we are making this move, we needed to return our daughter’s dog to her for a while, and this meant taking a day to deliver Reggie and have a couple of hours to spend with Millie. It was a good day, but stressful for everyone because as much as we all love Reg, he’s an awful lot of trouble right now. His love for his people means that he barks incessantly when his people have to be away, and this is problematic in apartments and RV parks.
So I took the day and met up with Millie, and we enjoyed a picnic and a hike with Reg, all the while trying to brainstorm solutions to the Reggie problem. Apparently, she has not landed on the right combination to keep him quiet while she goes to work, so in his first day back, already she’s gotten a complaint from the neighbors. And, because I am the mother, not only did I lose the day’s writing time to transport Reggie, but now I cannot focus well because I am worried about the possible repercussions for Millie and for Reg.
😟
And so, as my mind works overtime, alternately berating myself for failing to meet my self-imposed deadline and fretting over child and dog situation, I have accomplished nothing in several days. Which leads to more frustration and irritation. And a headache.
I didn’t really understand why I was tense and had the headache. Since life fell apart about a month and a half ago, my headaches have actually become less and less frequent. But here I am again, downing the Goodys and hoping for some relief.
My problem is pretty simple – and a little embarrassing. I worry too much. I trust too little. I set out to write for you words to encourage you and to help grow your faith, all while I sit here in faithless worry.
My head and my heart are often at odds with each other. Sometimes, I feel something very deeply in my heart, but my head says that it doesn’t make sense, and so I rationalize those thoughts and dreams away. Other times, I know in my head what is true and right. I’ve read it in God’s Word. And I KNOW that Word is true. But my heart is concerned and distrustful and weak.
And so I am brought back to one of the very first verses of scripture I memorized as a child – Proverbs 3:5…
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.
It’s a pretty simple, straightforward instruction. Trust in the Lord. Because we humans can be a little dim, the Lord inspired Solomon to say it again, a different way: do not lean on your own understanding. Simple.
In theory.
Here’s my own little paraphrase: “Trust God, because you don’t always think right!”
I wanted the text of the new book to be complete last Friday. It wasn’t. I thought I failed. I didn’t. As it turns out, there was more that the Lord wanted to show me. There was an important point I had not noticed yet. My pastor brought it up in service Sunday.
My “failure” was just God slowing me down, reminding me once again that His ways are better than my ways. His thoughts are so much higher than my thoughts. Instead of getting so introspective, lost in my own thoughts, here is yet another reminder set my mind on things above (Colossians 2:2) and simply trust that God’s got this earthly stuff under control.
That includes my book.
And the dog.
I just need to trust Him.
…Just a thought…
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