Refresh

He restores my soul.  He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.  Psalm 23:3 ESV

We are doing an update of our little house.  It’s not a remodel so much as it is a “refresh.”  We started in our bathroom – new wallpaper, a pretty new shower curtain and fancy hooks, rugs, towels, storage baskets, and a couple of little pictures on the wall, and it all just feels… better.

Currently, we’re working on the hallway and bedroom.  Again, we’ve been applying new wallpaper.  (Just a side note – wallpaper is different than it used to be.  It’s not your grandma’s flowery wallpaper with lots of paste and mess.  The bathroom got the appearance of shiplap on the walls.  What I’m working with currently looks like wood planks.)  The goal is to give it the feel of a rustic lodge.  Since it’s not really feasible right now to get away to a secluded little cabin in the mountains, we thought this might be the next best thing.

Refresh.

Aside from my day job, I do a little work on the side as a transcript editor.  On the company website, there is a constantly updating list of available work.  There are certain clients that I especially like to work with, and certain types of jobs that I enjoy working on.  And there are a lot of other clients and jobs that I just find tedious and which do not interest me.  On days that I am editing, I spend a lot of time hitting the “refresh” button on the page.  This gives me an updated list of which old jobs are still available and what new work has posted.  I refresh until I find what I’m looking for, which sometimes takes a while!

Refresh, refresh, refresh.

“Refresh” is a word with a lot of connotations for me right now.  And it’s kind of a longing in my soul…

I think part of the motivation for the “refresh” of the house is that we are just feeling such a weariness in life.  I suspect you’re feeling it too.  There’s just something about life on planet earth in 2022 that is exhausting. 

So, since we can’t really travel and explore in the ways we’ve done in the past, we decided to try to bring a change of scenery home.  On one level, I suppose, it’s kind of a frivolous exercise.  At the end of the day it’s still the little travel trailer that we’re living in and not the “real house” with foundation that I still sometimes dream of having.  But on another level, we’re finding a way to build contentment in our circumstances, as Paul suggests in Philippians. 

My default setting in life, unfortunately, does not naturally land on “content.”  Worried, anxious, depressed, annoyed, frustrated, disappointed – these come pretty easily.  Content takes a bit more work.  It requires a decisive effort on my part to intentionally set aside concerns and trust the Lord. 

Which should be easy.

My God has a track record of getting things right 100% of the time.  He is not in the habit of making mistakes.  It’s not even possible that He could mess up.

I know this to be true.  I know it.

And yet, the littlest hiccups in life still can send me into a tailspin.  How silly!

And so for me, the intentional refresh is becoming a sort of faith-building exercise for me.  I can’t necessarily see what I’m looking for in the moment. 

Refresh. 

As my online job list changes from moment to moment, so do my circumstances.  It may take a few minutes, a few hours, a few days, weeks, months, years, but circumstances change.  In life, I sometimes forget this simple truth.

Obviously, time in prayer and the study of God’s Word are vital spiritual disciplines.  These certainly have the power to bring spiritual refreshing.  But, along with the spiritual disciplines, I’m realizing that the Lord is okay with my engaging in some practical, tangible activities that help redirect my focus.  It’s a different kind of faith exercise, and, in this moment it’s leaving me hopeful.

So if you’re feeling a little stuck today, find a way to refresh.  It may not be redecorating your house.  Maybe just going for a walk, picking up a new book, calling an old friend – whatever seems to offer refreshment to your weary soul today, take some time to do it. 

Take your concerns to the Lord.  Then leave those worries with Him and get busy living life. 

Refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh…

…Just a thought…

 

Leading from Behind

And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.     Isaiah 30:21 ESV

I so often find myself praying for direction!  I want the Lord to show me the way, give me a roadmap for His plan, and I want to see ahead of time step-by-step instructions for the way that I should go.

But that's not usually how God works.

I know this.  I've written about it a number of times over the years.  

Scripture is full of wisdom regarding how we are to discern the ways of the Lord and walk in His ways.  It seems it should be so simple, and yet often it is just hard -- at least, it is for me.

I tend to have my own ideas about how I would like things to go.  I am prone to using my prayers to make suggestions to God on how I think He ought to do things.  I mean, I don't say it exactly like that, but that's really the heart of it.  Though I know it is not true, I sometimes live and act as if I know better than the God who created the universe and everything in it, including me.

Such was the case with the people to whom Isaiah's prophecies were directed.  Though they had clear instructions from the Lord, they chose to reject His plan and follow their own.  And they ended up defeated and taken captive.

But the Lord still had good plans for them.  And so, He waited.  (See Isaiah 30:18)

This passage in Isaiah describes the Lord's response when His people had been unfaithful.  Rather than trusting in God, they sought help from foreign kings.  Instead of believing the word of the Lord, they trusted in their own plans.  And God allowed them to experience some of the consequences of their poor decisions.  But He did not abandon them.

And that is so encouraging to me!

Too often, I want to choose my own path and then ask God to bless my way.  Meanwhile, He's been calling me to wait and to trust.

And so, I find myself seemingly alone and uncertain as I try to move forward.  In such times, I am tempted to believe that God has abandoned me.  I sometimes accuse Him of silence when I claim to want to hear His voice.  I want to know why He is not leading me...

Perhaps, in those times, it is simply that I am moving in the wrong direction.  

Listen.

We often speak of following the Lord.  This is an excellent idea!  Clearly, the best path forward would be to follow our Leader.

Still, there are times when we have strayed.  Sometimes, we may have genuinely misunderstood.  Or perhaps, the Lord is simply calling us to wait and to seek and to listen...

When we cannot see the way up ahead, this is the time to get quiet, tune in, and listen for God to speak.  He has not left us.  We do not walk alone.  Listen for His whisper in your ear.

If you've gotten ahead of God today and cannot seem to discern the way, rest assured that He is still there.  Listen carefully.  He will direct you, even from behind.  He's just waiting for your ear.

Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you.  For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him.  Isaiah 30:18

...Just a thought...

Morning Rainbows

The rainbow shall be in the cloud, and I will look on it to remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth.”     Genesis 9:16 NKJV

When I stepped out my door this morning, something about the atmosphere felt a little "off" to me.  I checked the time, and it was about the time I normally take Bailey on her first walk of the day.  It was just finally daylight, but it was just sort of an odd light...

The sky was sort of pink-ish, and I found myself trying to recall the old poem about the meaning of red skies.  Then I decided that was too much mental effort too soon after waking, and Bailey needed her walk, regardless of the color of the sky.  So off we went.

Just a few steps down the road, I looked up at the sky again, and that's when I saw it.  On the backdrop of the pinkish purple sky was a most perfect rainbow!  It was fairly mesmerizing.  When the path began to turn so that the rainbow was no longer in view, I frustrated Bailey by making her turn back to walk in the opposite direction so that I could continue to see the rainbow.  

I considered going back to the house for my phone because I felt the sight should be documented.  I'm not sure I've ever seen a morning rainbow, and I'm certain I've never seen one quite like this.  But this occasion, I decided, should just be experienced versus photographed.  

There was somewhat of a stillness to the morning, though the birds were fairly active.  Seeing them fly, as it were, under the rainbow reminded me of many of my childhood drawings.  It brought visions of Noah and the first rainbow and led me to ponder for a moment what that must have been like.

I began to think of the words of the song "Days of Elijah"-- "Behold He comes riding on the clouds..."  

There was just a sense of hopefulness for the day ahead.

And then the raindrops began to fall!

Though we got home with barely a sprinkle, as I sit now there is a steady rain falling.  It's prompting me to want to go back to sleep, to be honest, but that's not an option.  

Soon it will be time to be off to work.  And while that's not what I really would like to be doing on this now dreary, rainy day, it is what I shall do.   Perhaps the rain will make it a slow day in fast food.... Or, perhaps, it will prompt a never-ending line at the drive-thru.

Still, I will carry with me this day a simple reminder of hope and of the wonderful promises of God.  He has not forgotten or forsaken me, and this season, as seasons do, shall pass.

...Just a thought...

Being

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.          Psalm 16:11 ESV

Confession: my prayer time hasn't been the best lately.  While I prioritize my morning quiet times, getting my Bible reading done and keeping a few different devotional readings going, prayers these days have been shorter and shallower than I'd like to admit.

A couple of unrelated, random moments at church several Sundays ago kind of brought this to my attention, and I have been mulling it over ever since.  My prayer time lately has just been a lot of me asking God for stuff.  It's been a difficult season, and I'm finding myself way too needy!  I've got loved ones who are facing hard stuff, and I often just feel weary and overwhelmed.  And so, as has been my longtime habit, I whine about it all to God.

Now on one level, I think it's important to be continually in prayer, which means that whatever is on my mind is what I should be taking to the Lord.  But beyond the ongoing silent dialogue, which is mostly just me asking, begging, whining, and complaining, I have been missing deeper connection.  There's so much constantly going on in my head that I seldom make the effort to listen for what God might say in response.

I was reminded of an old song that probably few will remember.  

Back in the '80s, Christian music videos were just beginning to be "a thing," and there were few outlets to view them.  But for half an hour on Sunday afternoons, a young girl from a college I'd never heard of before or since hosted a little Christian video program.  I thought it was the best thing ever!

But I digress...

The song that's been running through my head (with video) was a song by Lulu Roman Smith (who was famous for her role on Hee-Haw, if you're old enough to remember that show!) called "Shopping List."  The song starts very much like many of my prayers lately:

LORD I NEED TO TALK TO YOU
THERE'S SO MUCH ON MY HEART
SO MANY BURDENS MAKES IT HARD
TO KNOW JUST WHERE TO START...

From there, she begins to lay out a "shopping list" of stuff she'd like to have - houses, clothes, cars, TVs, VCRs, etc...

GIVE ME THIS, I WANT THAT
BLESS ME LORD I PRAY
GRANT ME WHAT I THINK I NEED TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE DAY
MAKE ME WEALTHY, KEEP ME HEALTHY
FILL IN WHAT I MISSED
ON MY NEVER-ENDING SHOPPING LIST

While I have not consciously been making prayer all about what I think I need, on some level I guess I have.  I am so aware of the craziness in the world around me, and the daily struggles are real.  It's a strange and often difficult season.  So those difficulties are on my mind, and I talk to the Lord about them.

And while I don't believe there is anything at all wrong with pouring out my heart to the God who loves me, I need to remember that if He never does anything else for me, He already gave His Son for me, and that is far more than I deserve.  Sometimes, I just need to be reminded of that and take some time to really soak it in.  And my frequent monologues of need don't really seem to qualify as quality time with the Lord.

Back in July I had the opportunity to spend a few days with my mama.  The visit was not nearly long enough, as is always the case.  But it was a good visit.

Now, I don't know what family visits look like for you.  Most likely, there's a bit more activity involved than my typical visit with my mama.  A good portion of our time together is spent sitting in her living room, reading.  The TV may be on, though neither of us is really watching.  There will be some conversation, but often it is quiet.  

We have conversation over the phone daily.  Generally, our calls are low information, consisting largely of discussing the lack of information we each have to add to the conversation.  But our daily calls are simply about staying connected.

Visits are about being together.

And so that's what's been on my mind for the past few weeks - just "being."  I'm trying to take some time to focus on just being with the Lord.  It's hard because I am highly distractable.  And it seems there is always something to do!  And my mind continually races from one thought to the next 500, and along the way, as is my habit, I find myself asking the Lord for help with those 501 thoughts.

So this is my challenge to myself, and to you, if you can relate: just BE with God for a while.  When those thoughts of need start to creep in, push them back for a moment.  He already knows what you need anyway, and you can talk to Him about it later.  

Take time to listen.  If I can be still and quiet long enough, I find that God has not stopped speaking - I've just not been listening too well.  When my mind starts to wander, I'm trying to learn to just express some gratitude for what God has already done and then quiet my thoughts again.

I'm a work in progress for sure!

But as much as I enjoy those times of companiable silence just being with my mama, I'm learning to crave more time just "being" with my Lord.

I don't know if this one makes any sense.  Sometimes the longer I mull over something, the more I tend to ramble.  But after all it's...

...Just a thought...

**Lyrics and info on "Shopping List" can be found at Shopping List Lyrics (larrybryant.com)

What You Were Made For

Then Moses said to the people of Israel, “See, the Lord has called by name Bezalel the son of Uri, son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah; and he has filled him with the Spirit of God, with skill, with intelligence, with knowledge, and with all craftsmanship...                 Exodus 35:30-31

Last Wednesday was kind of a rough day.  After a long day of work, there were appointments and storms and other situations that were generating stress, and my very energetic dog was getting on my nerves in a pretty significant way.  Ultimately, I got frustrated enough with her indoor shenanigans that I took her out for a nice long walk - puddles and all.

We ended up at the little dog park in our community, and I released her to run.  And she did, for a bit.  And then I had guilt.

When we began considering adopting a dog, I was specifically looking for a dog that would have the energy and stamina to accompany me on runs.  Mission accomplished!

Only, I haven't been running lately.  Workdays leave me weary and frustrated.  My joints ache, and there just isn't a lot of time or motivation for activities that seem non-essential.  So, what I find myself wanting right now is a dog that will just lay down on the couch beside me and snuggle and rest her head in my lap and bring some calm to my often-frazzled nerves.

But I adopted a runner.

And so, bright and early Thursday morning, I dug out my running shoes and we went for a run.  Friday morning, we did the same.

A couple of notables were observed:  

Bailey is an excellent runner.  When we go for walks, she likes to scan the whole area, shifting from my left to right and around trees, posts, etc., until we find ourselves quite tangled.  She often feels the need to "stop, drop, and roll" in the grass, and to pause to observe every squirrel, lizard, dog, or person we may encounter.  When we run, however, she is focused and stays easily to the left - no problem.

Running brings out Bailey's calm.  After a run, she can just come inside our tiny home and settle.  This is good for everyone!

Bailey, post-run

Running also brings out my calm.  I have long known that running is great for my mental health.  Lately, though, I have had no interest in running.  I have attributed this to the physical aches, pains, and tiredness that have accompanied my new job.  It seemed a valid excuse, for indeed the physical toll of a day on my feet at work is far greater than I've felt after a long run.  I simply could not imagine trying to run on a workday.  

Which brings me to the heart of the lesson I am learning in this experience...

There is value in doing what we are made for.

Bailey is a strong and energetic girl.  She is about 40 pounds of solid muscle, which doesn't seem like much until she hits you with it!  She is the proverbial "bull in a china closet," causing unintentional havoc in the house as she tries to work off a little energy.  But outside, on a run or in the park, she has the opportunity to freely do what she was made to do.

I enjoy being creative.  I've been drawing, writing, sewing, imagining, and making things for as long as I can remember.  

And I love kids.  Every time I serve in the children's ministry at our church, I feel like I am exactly where I belong.  I am energized, inspired, and joyful.  

But I find myself working a job that does not hit any of my interests or gifts.  I actually got reprimanded recently for applying a slight bit of creativity to an otherwise mundane task!  

So I am frustrated.  Going to work each day is more of a chore than I can ever recall in any other of the myriad of jobs I've had over the years.

I once was encouraged by a pastor friend to "be careful of trying to work outside of the area of your giftedness."  That's not to say that we can realistically only do the things in life that we are good at or feel called to do (though I personally think that would be great!).  He was simply saying that when we work within our gifts, this is where we will find ourselves most effective and satisfied.

I'm not quitting my job just yet, though most days I'd really like to.  Still, I find myself searching internet job sites almost daily, looking for a job that is more in keeping with my gifts and interests.  

In the meantime, I'm trying to be more purposeful in using my free time to indulge in more creative pursuits.  I still have hopes of completing that book I started nearly two years ago.  I have several other writing projects bouncing around in my head and in my collection of notebooks.  I have sewing projects in progress, and I even took some time the other day to paint a picture.  

And I am praying.

My heart is to serve, and at a most basic level that is what I do at my job each day.  And so I find myself daily asking the Lord for the grace and endurance to be faithful in the little things and for His help to keep my frustration and discouragement in check at work.

Still, I find myself longing for the opportunity and freedom to spend more time doing what I was made to do.  

When the time came to build the tabernacle, God did not just instruct Moses to look for volunteers.  He gave him a name - the name of a man He had specifically gifted for the tasks at hand.  In fact, the Lord gifted a variety of craftsmen with different gifts and skills needed for constructing the tabernacle.  

Bezalel's story gives me hope.

Like all of the other Israelites, Bezalel was not far-removed from the days of slavery in Egypt.  Like the others, he'd been wandering in the wilderness since the Lord had brought the children of Israel out of Egypt.  He'd daily gathered manna and moved his tent from place to place.  Bezalel walked through the mundane and necessary and frustrating days and weeks and months and years - waiting for opportunity.

Opportunity eventually came.  The Lord brought purpose to the skill, intelligence, knowledge, and craftmanship with which He'd gifted Bezalel.  He set Bezalel free to create!

Perhaps, like me, you are longing for the freedom to do what you feel like you were made to do.  There are plenty of self-help gurus out there that will talk to you about visualizing and pursuing your dreams.  In frustrating seasons, I would encourage you not to pursue your dreams, but to pursue the Dream Giver.  Trust Him.  Trust His timing.  That's what I am encouraging myself to do in this season.

Remember Bezalel.  

Be ready.  Be filled. 

 And as God gives opportunity, get busy doing what you were made for.

...Just a thought...

Remember

I cry out, “My splendor is gone!  Everything I had hoped for from the Lord is lost!”  The thought of my suffering and homelessness is bitter beyond words.  I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss.

Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends!  His mercies never cease.  Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.

I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!”     Lamentations 3:18-24 NLT

I did a lot of driving last week...

We have a family reunion in Alabama every third Saturday of July.  Lots of factors went into the decision of whether or not to attend this year, but ultimately, I made it. 

The journey began on Wednesday with a drive from Ocala, Florida to Brevard, North Carolina where my mom lives.  Though she is perfectly capable of driving herself places, I am not comfortable with her driving alone from North Carolina to Alabama.  So, I went to pick her up and drive her down.  

Thursday was spent debating the wisdom of going to Alabama after all.  Several family members were ill, so we knew that turnout for the reunion would be low.  It was a long way to drive knowing that we would miss seeing a lot of people.  Ultimately, we decided that we would rather see some of the family than to see none of the family, and so we determined to go.

Friday found us driving to my cousin's house near Birmingham.  We stayed the night there, enjoying a lovely visit.

Up early Saturday morning and we were off to Lawley, the site of the annual gathering.  We enjoyed the day visiting with family members and eating too much food.  We walked a bit in the cemetery, visiting my Daddy's grave, and then we got back on the road.  We arrived back in North Carolina right around midnight.

Sunday morning, I loaded up and headed for home.  I found myself at home in Florida around 9pm, tired, but thankful to have been able to make the journey.

I include all those details basically to make the point that I spent four days of the past six on the road.  More specifically, on each of my four days of driving, I passed the site of our bus accident from a few years ago.  

I believe it was around 2005 (?) that we were traveling in our first bus from North Carolina to Georgia when we were struck from behind by an 18-wheeler.  That event became a significant marker in our Jeremiah 29:11 Ministries journey.  We began to remember things based on whether they had happened before or after "the awful thing."  Thankfully, despite the intensity of the accident, we walked away from that day with no serious injuries.  But our lives were pretty upside-down for a while.

Traditional wisdom dictates that we should try our best to forget the bad times of the past.  I struggle with that because I have a brain that works overtime to remember troublesome details while quickly forgetting more important things - like the name of the person I met 30 seconds ago!  In Philippians 3:13, Paul even suggests that there is wisdom in forgetting the past to look ahead.

But the prophet Jeremiah recognized that there was also some value in remembering.  Jeremiah saw some really bad stuff and experienced very difficult circumstances in his life.  It was truly "an awful time" for him.  He acknowledges in Lamentations that he cannot forget the bad things that happened to him.  It's kind of right in the title of the book...

But --

Even in his grief, Jeremiah had hope.  He was not blind to his circumstances.  He didn't adopt a "positive mental attitude" approach to life.  He did not try to pretend that everything was fine when it definitely was not.  

But Jeremiah remembered the nature of God. 

He remembered the bad, but he also remembered the good.  Jeremiah remembered that God's faithfulness was not negated by his own circumstances.  Jeremiah recognized that his present situation was not all that existed.  

When the prophet took an objective look at his life, he did not say, "Everything is great!"  Things were not at all okay.  Jeremiah hurt, and he grieved.  

He acknowledged reality.

Personally, I am prone to only go halfway when I try to be "realistic" in my assessment of life.  I look at the circumstances of my life and my world, and my response is basically, "Yeah, it really is pretty bad.  But it is what it is."

It is what it is.

That's my go-to phrase in this season.  I hear a lot of other people making that acknowledgement too.

Circumstances are what they are.  The world is pretty messed up.  Our country is definitely a hot mess!

But you know what else "is what it is"?

God.  He is the original I Am.  And He has not changed because He does not change.  He is Who He is!  

It is the nature of God to be faithful.  It is His nature to love.  And His mercies are new each day.

And so, whatever the circumstances, we can have hope.

Every time I drive past the weigh stations on I-85 in north Georgia, I remember the awful thing that happened there.  I remember a day filled with all kinds of fear, frustration, uncertainty, and pain.  But then I remember that even in that circumstance, my God was faithful.  He has not changed.  

He will not change.

And so, this day, let me encourage you - it's okay to remember.  It's legitimate, even as a Christ-follower, to acknowledge that your life may not be going exactly the way you'd expected.  Feeling frustrated and disappointed doesn't make you a bad Christian.  It makes you an honest human.

Just be sure as you are remembering that you do not stop halfway through the process.  Life is hard, yes.  But God is faithful, always.

Hope in Him.

...Just a thought...

Whispers

And he said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake.  And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper.          1 Kings 19:11-12

Without a doubt it is a strange time to be alive.  Perhaps every generation has felt that.  I don’t know.  What I do know is that the world feels like it’s falling apart at an increasingly rapid pace lately, and it has left me feeling a little off-balance, trying to find some equilibrium.

As I was reading in Kings this morning, one of my favorite stories from Scripture (and you know I have a lot of favorites) is the story of Elijah.  I think I see too much of myself in Elijah.  He’s the guy who’s either up or down – there really seems to be no middle ground or balance for him.  I can relate.

Coming off a great victory, Elijah went for an intentional run, followed by a frightened escape run, followed by a physical and mental breakdown, and then a forty-day fast and wilderness journey.  We find him in a cave, alone and depressed.  Though he was just over forty days out from a huge spiritual victory, having seen an incredible demonstration of God’s power on Mount Carmel, followed by a miraculous end to a drought, which he himself had prophesied, Elijah was feeling unloved and misunderstood by God. 

Now this was certainly not the truth.  God had moved mightily in response to Elijah’s prayers.  He had sent an angel to feed and strengthen Elijah when his own energy was spent.  God had shown Himself faithful to Elijah in mighty and miraculous ways, but Elijah couldn’t rest in that.  And so, since Elijah seemed to miss God in the miraculous, He came to him in a whisper.

Generally, I am a fan of quiet communication.  I don’t really care for loud and chaotic environments.  I am not a “yeller,” and I don’t really care to spend a lot of time around people who are. 

Which is not ideal in my current job…  I find myself working in a busy and chaotic kitchen with a lot more people than I am accustomed to working around.  Presently, I wonder what I was thinking when I applied for this job!  (I was thinking that there are bills to pay, and the wage is decent, and I will do what I need to do.)   There’s a lot of yelling from one area of the kitchen to another, and my inability to effectively yell over the chaos is proving to be a liability in this setting.  It’s incredibly frustrating!

But there is one area in which I really would like some nice loud communication, and that is in hearing from the Lord.  I would really love an audible, “Go there and do that” from the Lord.  I think that would be great.

But so often, God whispers.

God does miraculous things, certainly.  He sent fire from heaven to completely consume Elijah’s sacrifice on Mount Carmel.  There was no question that was God.  He followed that up with a major downpour from a previously cloudless sky.  He did these things in clear response to the prayers of the prophet.  And yet still, the prophet quickly lost heart.

So the Lord strengthened him for survival, and then let Elijah wander for a while.  Elijah apparently fell into anxiety and depression, but he had a destination in mind.  He headed to Horeb, which the Scripture identifies as the “mount of God” (1 Kings 19:8).  In spite of what he had just experienced, the prophet, in his weariness, was having some doubts and confusion, so he went to the place where historically God had spoken.

After his forty day journey, though, Elijah got to Horeb and settled into a cave.  The Scripture says that he “lodged” there.  He really didn’t have plans for future ministry.  He was done. 

But God was not done with him.  God still had a plan, and Elijah was still a part of it.  God knew that He was going to give Elijah some help, though Elijah did not know this yet. 

So the Lord showed the prophet the kind of devastation He was capable of – wind, earthquake, and fire.  I’m not sure why He did it that way.  Maybe it was just to get Elijah’s attention -- to snap him out of his introspection and get him to look outward and upward.  Because once He had Elijah’s attention, then God whispered.

Could it be that the craziness we’re seeing in the world in this season is God trying to get our attention?  I know that for me personally, like Elijah, I’ve been spending far too much time in introspection.  I am keenly aware of some of the impacts the world craziness (mostly the national craziness) is having on me personally.  But I believe the Lord would have me “snap out of it” and look outward and upward.  I serve a God who loves me, and I’m surrounded by people who need to understand that He still loves them too.

I need to listen for the whisper.

Perhaps you, too, have been feeling overwhelmed by life on planet Earth 2022.  Maybe you’re hoping for God to do some big miracle and turn things around.  And maybe He will.  He certainly could.  But perhaps, He will simply whisper.  Give Him your attention, and see what He has to say.

Elijah thought he was alone.  He was not.  There were 7,000 other God-followers in Israel, and one specific one that God was preparing to walk alongside Elijah in the days ahead. 

You are not alone.  Remember the miraculous ways God has moved before.  And even as you feel the earth shaking, listen for His whisper.

… Just a thought…

Just a Little Light

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.            Psalm 119:105 ESV

What a season we are living in!  The more I hear and read, the more I know that I'm not the only one whose world seems shaky and unsteady.

In this season where I am so struggling to find specific direction in specific areas of life, the Lord whispered a simple reminder that I pray will encourage you as it encouraged me -- stop trying to see so far ahead!

We've been living at a little RV park in Florida for the past year.  It's a lovely spot, near the water, and out a bit from the city.   At night, it gets really dark here.

So, a few weeks ago, back before the time change happened, I found myself needing to be out after dark.  I had started the laundry a little late in the day, and I hadn't finished before the daylight was gone.  I don't really like to drive in the park at night because there really aren't a lot of lights and it's just hard to see.  And gas prices being what they are, it seemed silly to drive the truck a few hundred yards just for the convenience of the headlights.

I needed some light both to see and to be seen.  So, I flipped on the little flashlight in my phone and off I went.  When I stepped out of the house, I couldn't see the laundry tent (yes, tent- that's a story for another day).  All I could see was my little patio.  But as I walked a few steps across the patio, with light in hand I could see just enough for a few more steps.

I did not get frustrated that the light in my phone didn't immediately light the entire way to the laundry.  I knew that my little light was enough to show me a few steps at a time.  And I was okay with that.  It was all that I needed.

Why is this simple concept so hard for me to understand in life?  How often have I tripped over something right in front of me because I was too busy looking for something I couldn't see yet?  And not just "couldn't" see yet.  I didn't need to see it yet.

I know that God has a plan.  I know that His plan is good.  If you're reading this, there's a good chance you've heard me say this before.  I KNOW this to be true.  And yet, once again, I am frustrated because I can't see the "laundry tent"!  

What the psalmist described was not a bright streetlight.  It was not a nice full moon illuminating the countryside.  What he described was a little light - something much more akin to the little light on my phone than to the headlights on the truck. 

We used to have one of those big rechargeable 1,000+ lumen flashlights.  We'd step out into darkness and shine that light, and we could survey all of our surroundings before taking a single step forward.  I like that kind of flashlight!  

But that's not the kind of lamp for my feet and light for my path that the Lord tends to give me.

Perhaps the simple lesson of this season is trusting the word of God to take the next step.  His word (and Word) doesn't reveal my whole journey, nor does it clearly show an earthly destination.  It's the little flashlight that shows me the next step.

And so, the challenge is to trust His light for the next step.  That, and to not get so busy looking for the destination that I stumble over something right in front of me, or that I miss what I was meant to see along the way because I was trying to look too far ahead.

If, like me, you've been concerned where this season may be taking you, I want to encourage you today - a little bit of light is enough.  Stop trying to look so far ahead, and set your eyes on that next step.  That's how the Lord chooses to lead so often.  Trust His ways.

Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, "I am the light of the world.  Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."     John 8:12

...Just a thought...

A Strange Time to Be Glad

 --and for your sake I am glad that I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him.     John 11:15

If you didn’t know the story, you might think that Jesus was being kind of insensitive here.  I know the story, and yet, as I was rereading it this week, I found some of it a little hard to take.  But as I began to consider and to pray and to study, what wonderful insight this story gives us into the ways our Savior works!

John is relating the account that culminates in Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead.  That’s great and wonderful and we all love the miracle stories.  I know I do, anyway.

But verse 15 of John 11 comes on the heels of Jesus telling the disciples that their friend Lazarus is dead.  They knew he was sick.  I feel like they weren’t really worried about their friend at this point because Jesus had already told them that Lazarus’s illness would not end in death.  So they’d all just been taking their time getting to Bethany, unconcerned about Lazarus’s ultimate well-being.

But Jesus has just told the disciples that Lazarus is dead.  If I put myself in their sandals, I’m probably feeling a lot of things in this moment.  I’d be sad, obviously, that my friend was dead.  I think I’d have been really confused because I thought Jesus said Lazarus wasn’t going to die.  Maybe I’d be feeling a little guilty that we hadn’t gone to Bethany sooner, and that I’d probably even cautioned Jesus against going because it was potentially dangerous.  I suspect that the disciples were feeling all of those things, and probably a whole lot of other things.

You know what I think they weren’t feeling?  Glad.  I really don’t think that “glad” was a feeling that came to the minds of the disciples in that moment.

But Jesus said that He was glad.  And that seems a little weird.  It almost seems like Jesus didn’t care.  But nothing could be farther from the truth.

A little further on in the story, we will see Jesus’ compassion toward Martha and Mary.  And we will see Jesus weep.  Certainly Jesus cared.

Jesus understood what we often forget.  Just because something is difficult or painful does not mean that it is bad.  Sometimes there are growing pains.  And sometimes, life is just hard.  And when life is hard, often, we cannot look past “the hard.” 

But Jesus could.  Even though Jesus was hurt by the death of His friend, He was able to look past the pain, knowing there was purpose.

Most obviously, Lazarus couldn’t have been raised had he not died.  OK.  But Jesus had raised other people from the dead.  Was it really necessary for Lazarus to be raised too?  I guess it depends on your perspective.

Jesus said that it was good for the disciples.  Jesus knew what was coming in the next weeks and months, and He recognized that the disciples’ faith was still weak.  So, Jesus said that that His not being there to heal Lazarus was to help the disciples’ belief.

But it was not just for the disciples’ sake that Jesus delayed. Scripture tells us that many of the Jews believed in Jesus because He raised Lazarus.  I figure that probably made Jesus glad, as well.

Now the truth is, we can’t always see the purpose in our pain.  We sit in the midst of circumstances, overwhelmed and hurting.  And from our perspective, all that pain could have been prevented.  After all, our God does miracles.

But sometimes, He chooses to wait.  And while He is waiting, we are waiting.  But while we are worrying, He is working.  And while we may not understand why He’s waiting, we can trust our God.  Period.  That’s the bottom line. 

We don’t have to understand.  We don’t have to be glad.  But we can trust.

In these days when we find life so difficult to understand, when circumstances are overwhelming at times and just painful at others, faith is growing in us.  When Jesus delays, it’s so we can believe.  Perhaps it’s really that simple.

…Just a thought…

Feel What You Feel

If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,” even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.     Psalm 139:11-12

There's been an essay circulating on social media lately that has gotten me thinking, or rather, that has occupied my thinking.  (My husband will attest to the fact that I am never NOT thinking, lol!)

Before I go on, please understand -- this is not meant to be critical of either the essay or those who have shared it.  I have read the piece several times.  Some incredibly good points are made.  It is thought-provoking, well-written, and pertinent.

With that disclaimer out of the way, let me share with you what I am talking about.

This season seems to be a season of struggle for so many people, including myself.  Though we share some common struggles by virtue of the condition of things in our country and in our world, we each have individual issues that we are facing.  I cannot help but recognize that in the grand scheme of stressful life events, if we rank them by severity, what I'm struggling with would rate closer to "minor inconvenience" than "earth shattering."  

I remind myself of this regularly.  In so doing, I attempt to minimize my feelings and rationalize them away, because compared to the friend who is facing a serious diagnosis, or who has lost a child, or who is caring for a sick loved one, my struggles seem so minute.  When across the globe people are facing literal war, invasion, loss of freedom and life, I am incredibly blessed in my safe little cocoon here.  So, I should just put on my big girl pants and be grateful.

I am -- grateful.  I know that I am incredibly blessed.  I know that so many people have much bigger problems than I.

My issue with the above-mentioned essay and other writings and memes conveying similar sentiments is simply this: the fact that other people/families/nations have "bigger" problems does not make my feelings any less real.  And this is, I believe, where we must be careful.  When I find myself facing worry and fear on any level, what I don't need is an extra push down "guilt trip lane."  I've already been there.  And you probably have, too.

I am a lifelong "feeling stuffer."  I am a fan of Star Trek's Mr. Spock, preferring logic to emotion and feelings.  But feelings are real.  Emotions are God-designed, and ultimately unavoidable.  So, when I again read the thought-provoking essay on how we should be thankful that we're not running from missiles or posting children's blood types on their school clothes, my first response was my typical one -- "*sigh* I have no right to complain or worry or be anxious when I have it so good *sigh* (guilty self-deprecating thoughts)."

But then, the Spirit whispered to my heart a simple comfort.  "You feel what you feel."  Our emotions are God-given.  Just because my struggles are different from your struggles, and your struggles are different from those in war-torn countries, those feelings are valid and real.  They need to be explored in the context of Scripture and prayer.  In truth, most of our feelings are rooted in faith, or as is often the case for me, the lack of it.  But the feelings are real, nonetheless.  

We play the comparison game in every aspect of life, it seems.  Social media often takes the old idea of "keeping up with the Joneses" to a whole new level!  We find ourselves feeling inadequate, unloved, ugly, or some other variety of "less than."  And I see in myself (and suspect that I am not alone) a tendency to fell "less" entitled to my feelings than others who are facing "greater" struggles.

And so, I am coming today to simply encourage you to let yourself feel what you feel.  Cry if you need to cry.  Whine if you need to whine.  Complain, yell, scream, go for a 10-mile run, hit something (something soft, please!), take a nap, eat the whole container of ice cream, or whatever it takes.  And don't feel guilty about it.  Then take it to the Lord -- or take it to the Lord AGAIN, if you're like me.  And keep taking it back to Him and talking to Him about it and crying to Him about it and whatever it takes, for however long it takes.  Then get up and carry on.

Perspective is important, and incredibly valuable.  That, I believe, is the true value of "information."  (I do not call it "news" anymore, because that term has lost all meaning, as far as I can tell.  But information -- true, important, accurate information -- helps us gain perspective and understanding.)  So, I will keep reading the essays and the stories.  And my heart will still break for the plight of the people who are hurting and struggling.  

I'm just not going to keep beating myself up for being concerned about matters of seemingly lesser consequence.  Because I feel what I feel.  

Just know that as you struggle with the big things, I will pray for you.  And even if you're struggling with "little things," I'll still pray for you.  

Hang in there.  God's still in control.  He's big enough for your big fears and He's still concerned about the little ones too.

...Just a thought...

Love Waits

And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.       Luke 15:20

This passage has been running through my mind of late -- the story of the prodigal.  I have heard and considered this story many times over the years. 

Often, I've thought about the actions of the younger son.  I've wondered at his insistence in exerting his independence, leaving home and the family business.   I've deemed him rebellious and self-centered and immature.  But I've been encouraged at his willingness to humble himself and return home.

I've considered the older brother, no less self-absorbed than his younger sibling.  He stayed home, keeping a close eye on all that would one day be his.  We credit him with honoring his father by remaining home working while his little brother went off to play.  We deem him the responsible brother.  But, in fact, he had a jealous and controlling streak, and did not react well when things did not go as he thought they should.

But lately, it is the father whose perspective touches me most deeply.

It's been nearly a year since I had children sharing my home.  I must confess, it's been a difficult adjustment.  It's not that I mind the "empty nest" exactly.  It's just a very different season.

As long as there were children around, I had a very clear, fundamental purpose to my days.  There was no question of who I was to be ministering to each and every day.  And while my ministry was not confined to my home, it has been my starting point for a very long time.  And so it remains, but different.

As far as the children go, I've had to entrust them all to the Lord in new ways.  The two to whom I gave birth are adults now, and they don't need me in the same way that they once did.  The "loaners" - the foster children I've had the opportunity to share life with - are in the care of others.  I hear from some of them from time to time, but ultimately, my influence in their lives is very different now.

My motto has always been "Do what you can while you can and trust the rest to God."  What a blessing that I was able to share in being His hands and feet in caring for children!  

And now, I come to the story of the prodigal with new eyes and many questions.  

Why did the father let his younger son go?  Did he try to stop him?  Did he attempt to talk him out of leaving?  Why did he give the boy the inheritance money?  After all, it wasn't his yet.

And what was the relationship of the father with his older son?  Had the father put too much pressure and responsibility on him after his brother's departure?

I do not have answers to those questions.

What I do know is that the father loved his children.  He wanted good things for them.  I suspect he second-guessed his decisions often, probably wishing he could have protected his younger son from the consequences of reckless behavior.  He probably struggled with how strained the relationship with the older son had become.

I wonder if he ever thought of going after the younger son, and inviting him to come home?  Maybe he did go after him.  Probably, the father was met with rejection.  I can imagine the sting of that.

I know that the father never gave up.  The father waited.  And he watched.

When the son finally returned, the father didn't wait for him to come knock on the door and apologize.  He was already watching, hoping.  He RAN to the son and embraced him!  And though the son offered himself as a servant, the father welcomed him as a beloved child. 

What a beautiful picture of our heavenly Father! 

Truthfully, I wish that God would hold me back when I start testing the limits.  When I wander off, willfully choosing my own way over His, I wish he would chase me down and drag me back home.  But He doesn't.  It's not that He doesn't love me.  He does love me - so much.  But He doesn't want a relationship that is forced or obligatory. 

He created me, yes.  But He CHOSE me!  And now He waits for me to choose to come to Him.  He doesn't chase me down to spend time with me, and He seldom speaks to me when I have not taken some initiative in seeking Him out.  He's funny that way...

1 John 4:8 tells me that God is love.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 describes a bit of what that means.  Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

God is love.  Not only does my heavenly Father show love; He IS love! He is patient and kind.  He is not rude.  He does not insist that I do things His way (though things go much better for me when I do!).  He bears all things.

He is the Father of the prodigal.  And so He waits. And He watches.  And whenever we're ready, so is He.  He closes the gap and welcomes us home with open arms.

I find this so comforting today, on so many levels.  

Maybe, like me, you have had some prodigal moments in your life.  Maybe even now you are choosing your way over His.  Perhaps you are in a season of parenting a prodigal, and you're not quite sure what to do.

Look at this old story with new eyes, and perhaps, you, too, will find encouragement there.

...Just a thought...

  

Lion of Judah

...and Judah the father of Perez and Zerah by Tamar, and Perez the father of Hezron, and Hezron the father of Ram...     Matthew 1:3 ESV

Well, that's an odd choice for a key verse, is it not?

When I began my annual journey through the Scriptures this year, though I initially uttered an internal sigh at the sight of the genealogy contained in the first chapter of Matthew, that sigh quickly gave way to revelation.  Y'all know I LOVE when I find something "new" in Scripture!

If you've read very far into this blog, you also know that I love redemption stories.  This one was quite unexpected.  Maybe you're more observant than I am, and perhaps this will be less awe-inspiring for you than it was for me, but I just love it when the Lord brings good things out of our messes.

So, for context, here's another verse:

And Judah took a wife for Er his firstborn, and her name was Tamar.  Genesis 38:6

Still seems a bit random, huh?

To really appreciate the magnitude of this thought, you'll need to read the entirety of Genesis 38.  The basic premise is that Judah, the son of Jacob, had three sons - Er, Onan, and Shelah.  The tradition of the time was that if a woman's husband died and she had not had children yet, her husband's brother was supposed to perform the duties of a "brother-in-law" (marry the widow and father a child to carry on the name of his dead brother).  So Judah's son Er married a girl named Tamar.  Er died, so Onan married Tamar.  Onan died, so Shelah was next in line to marry Tamar, but he wasn't old enough yet.  Some years passed and Tamar realized that Judah had no intention of letting Shelah marry her.  Her response was to pose as a prostitute and seduce Judah.  

There's a lot more detail to the story, but that kind of gives you some background to understand the significance of the genealogy.  

Perhaps you've heard Jesus referred to as the "Lion of Judah."  This is basically a reference to the fact that in Jesus' human ancestry, He was a descendant of Judah.

OK.  I've known that for a long time.  What's the big deal?

What I had never realized, though, was that Jesus was a descendant of Judah through some pretty sketchy circumstances.  Perez was the son of Judah through whom Christ descended, but Perez was the son of Judah's daughter-in-law!

Obviously, we're supposed to notice this.  That's why in Matthew's genealogical record, he adds "by Tamar" as a tag on the birth of Perez.

But why?  

I can only speculate.  Though Judah was so very flawed, having sold his brother Joseph into slavery and having fathered children through prostitution with his own daughter-in-law, yet through Judah's sinfulness, the way was being prepared for future rescue.  Through Joseph's slavery, the children of Israel were preserved through famine.  Through Judah's illicit affair, Jesus was born.  Crazy, huh?

The genealogy of Christ actually contains a lot of redemption stories.  I think that is fitting.  In spite of the very flawed nature of His ancestry, Jesus came as the ultimate Redeemer of all humanity.  

So there's some good news for us today.  I never sold a sibling into slavery, and I'll bet you didn't either.  And probably very few people have gotten caught up in the strange level of sexual misconduct in which Judah engaged.  And yet, for all of his flaws, Judah was not excluded from the redemption story of Jesus.  

And neither were you.  

None of my shortcomings - and they are many - are held against me by my Savior.  And neither are yours.

It's the very nature of redemption, and it is the heart of the Gospel.

...Just a thought...