In the Season of I Don't Know...

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.      Romans 8:26 ESV

I've dubbed my recent history as "the season of 'I don't know'".  It seems very fitting, as that is my answer to most questions these days.  I don't know.  I answer that way because it is so very true-- I don't know.

I feel as if I've been in this season for a very long time.  Definitely, it's been going on for a solid year now, and probably a bit longer.  Unfortunately, the season of "I don't know" seems as unchanging as the Florida seasons...

Aside from the global pandemic aspect of things, I have just been feeling this underlying sense of uncertainty and confusion.  Any and all decisions seem difficult, and I find myself avoiding making plans and decisions whenever possible.  

A simple 2022 goal I set for myself was to interact with humanity a little bit more.  I find solitude comfortable, and I am happy to work in my quiet little home for days on end with little actual human interaction.  But the Lord pointed out to me the fallacy in my little comfort zone, as He created me to live in fellowship with others and to share Him with them.  So I'm trying to get out a little more (though I'm careful not to overdo it!).

So Friday is the day that my friend leads a Bible study for ladies in the community where we live, and today, in the name of human interaction, I decided to attend.  She was teaching from Romans 8:28, a verse I often have used to encourage others, and to encourage myself.  I love the idea of things working together for good, especially in this season when things seldom feel like they're working well.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.      Romans 8:28 ESV

But as she taught, my friend was not so much emphasizing the "all things work together for good" part of the verse, but rather homed in on the "and we know" part.  And, me being me, all I could think was of all that I feel like I don't know these days.

As I skimmed the Scripture for context, I discovered that when he wrote this letter to the Romans, Paul had already considered the "I don't know" of the matter.  That got my attention!

While I've been busy giving myself pep talks on how God is working things for my good, while I've been trying to figure out how to bloom where I'm planted when I really want to be transplanted elsewhere, while I've just been trying to hold on for better days I hope are ahead, I've felt a heaviness in the "I don't know."  In fact, there is freedom in "I don't know."

So much is contained in this chapter in the Scripture!  Each thought builds on the previous, and we could be here for days just gleaning practical wisdom from Romans 8!  So for now, I just want to share with you briefly what encouraged me today.

 Verse 26 begins by pointing out that the Spirit helps us in our weakness.  Just a brief read of the preceding verses spells out a bit of that weakness.  Words like suffering, bondage, longing, groaning all feel particularly relatable.

That weakness is what leads us into the I don't know.  We don't know what to pray for...  Again, so relatable!

The bottom line here really is simply this:  "all things work together" does not depend on me!  

Having memorized this verse in the King James Version as a child, this was a simple nuance that I've missed.  And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.  For most of life, I have focused on the fact that things work together for good for "them that love God," and for "the called."  If things were not working for good in my life, I concluded that perhaps I was not loving God properly, or that maybe I was not "called." 

If we simply expand our focus to see Romans 8:28 in the context, including verses 26-27, it is clear that "all things working together for good" is not an outcome we should only expect in response to our own prayers.  It is, in fact, God's response to our "I don't know."

I don't know what to pray for.  I don't know God's will.  I don't know.  I don't know. I. Don't. Know.

To which, our loving heavenly Father says, "Cool!" (Or something like that.)

It is precisely when we don't know, that the Holy Spirit can do His best work.  We don't know how to pray, so the Spirit prays on our behalf.  He doesn't have to qualify His prayers with, "Lord if it's Your will" because He knows the will of God.  He knows our hearts and He knows the heart of God.  And He prays for us perfectly!

And then, verse 28.  Because the Spirit spoke what we didn't know to speak, because He asked for what we didn't know to ask for, because He knew the will of God when we couldn't discern His voice, all things now can work together for our good.

So I'm going to try to stop looking at this season of "I don't know" as if it is a bad thing.  Instead, I'm going to trust the words of the Lord through Paul that when I don't know, the Spirit intercedes.

Perhaps "I don't know" is really just the path to all things working together for good...

Sounds pretty freeing...

...Just a thought...