Yes, Lord. But…

Now there was a believer in Damascus named Ananias. The Lord spoke to him in a vision, calling, “Ananias!” “Yes, Lord!” he replied. The Lord said, “Go over to Straight Street, to the house of Judas. When you get there, ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul. He is praying to me right now. I have shown him a vision of a man named Ananias coming in and laying hands on him so he can see again.” “But Lord,” exclaimed Ananias, “I’ve heard many people talk about the terrible things this man has done to the believers in Jerusalem!”     Acts ‭9‬:‭10‬-‭13‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Second guessing the Lord is apparently a favorite pastime of mine.  So recently when I was reading through the story of Saul’s conversion in Acts, I found Ananias very relatable.

The Lord called Ananias by name.  Ananias responded with a resounding “Yes Lord!”  I mean, when the God of the universe calls your name, what else is there to say?

But then Ananias got some instructions that sent him backpedaling - and fast!  You want me to do what, Lord?!?!

“But Lord!”

Sometimes the Lord calls us to do things we enjoy.  I think He loves to see us doing the things He’s gifted us to do, having fun, enjoying life.  I know I love to see my kids doing things that they’re good at and that they enjoy.  I imagine our Heavenly Father feels that way about His kids.

But sometimes He calls us to do difficult things.  He asks things of us that take us out of our comfort zone.  Why would we not expect that He would?  After all, though we like to see our kids have fun, we know that all of life won’t be fun for them.  Sometimes we ask our children to do things that are hard or unpleasant.  It’s just part of life. 

We don’t always enjoy doing the things that need to be done.  

Like washing the dishes.

Like taking out the trash.

Like paying bills.

Like going to work on a sunny Saturday.

Like going to visit the scary guy that’s been putting Christ-followers in jail.

But I don’t want to.

That sounds dangerous.

What if…

But Lord…

“Go.”

Can’t you just imagine Ananias on the way?

Maybe he was hoping it had all been a dream.  He had to go just to be sure, but maybe there wouldn’t even be a Judas living on Straight Street.  Even if there was, maybe Saul wouldn’t actually be there.  A guy can hope, right?

But faced with the choice between fear and obedience, Ananias chose to obey.

Good choice!

By the time he got to Straight Street, Ananias had to be a little shaky.  He’d probably already stopped for directions and discovered that there was, in fact, a Judas that lived there.  He may have even heard chatter about Saul himself.

Maybe he knew the story of Esther and was reciting her words as he went along, “If I perish, I perish” (Esther 4:16).  Or perhaps Ananias was thinking of Daniel, or of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, or of Jesus Himself, remembering that sometimes it’s important and necessary to do the hard things.

Ananias did find Judas’s house.  He did find Saul.  And - no surprise - it was exactly as the Lord had described it. Ananias laid his hands on Saul. Saul received his sight.  And I have to believe that Ananias’s confidence in the Lord grew that day.

Many centuries later we continue to be impacted by Ananias’s story and by all that Saul would go on to do and write after his sight was restored.

All this was made possible because Ananias chose obedience over fear.  

His “Yes, Lord” trumped his “But Lord.”

I guess this is sort of the “flip-side” to my last post.  Just a couple of weeks ago I was battling frustration with myself over unfinished projects, and I was needing to lean into grace.  I’m happy to report that my screen time has gone down considerably.  But I’ve successfully found other things to be distracted by, and my productivity has not really gone up like I hoped it might.  

And while I can still appreciate grace and the freedom that comes in knowing that God is perfectly capable of getting His work done without me, I’m humbled that He would invite me into that work.  And I’m determined to act on that invitation.

How’s that going, you ask…

Well, I’ve been working on this very blog post since August 4, if that gives you any insight…

I’ve said, “Yes, Lord.”  But I’ve quickly and continually followed that up with, “But Lord.”

But Lord, I’m tired.

But Lord, I’ve got so much to do.

But Lord, I’m distracted.

But Lord, I don’t feel like doing that right now.

But Lord, I’ll do it tomorrow, this weekend, next week — soon.

But Lord.

No, He doesn’t NEED me to do anything.  But I need to be obedient.  And all of my “but Lords”s  are simply excuses for my disobedience.

The Lord didn’t disqualify Ananias over his “But Lord,” and He won’t disqualify us either.  Like He did for Ananias, the Lord may give us a bit more information to encourage us to follow through.  Or He may not.  Either way, it’s time to move forward.

What’s your “But Lord”?  That thing that you believe God wants you to do is really an invitation.  No, you don’t have to do it.  The Lord is perfectly capable of accomplishing His will without your assistance.  But He wants to involve you.  And He wants to make an impact through your obedience.

It’s time to get busy!

The God of the universe has called you by name!  What is there to say but, “Yes, Lord!”?

…Just a thought…

THE THINGS

Thus says the Lord: “Heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool; what is the house that you would build for me, and what is the place of my rest? All these things my hand has made, and so all these things came to be, declares the Lord. But this is the one to whom I will look: he who is humble and contrite in spirit and trembles at my word.     Isaiah‬ ‭66‬:‭1‬-‭2‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Do you ever find yourself wanting to do something good but you just can’t seem to get it done?  Maybe it’s just me.  Honestly, it feels like that’s always me!

But maybe you can relate.

As I sit here this second day of August, I kind of feel like I’m recovering from yesterday.  Not that yesterday was technically a bad day.  It was the first of the month, which brings its own special stress as that’s the day all the bills start over.  Aside from that, there was nothing particularly out of the ordinary.  But it was a day that left me frustrated beyond my ability to comprehend.

I confess to having spent a shameful amount of time playing games on my phone.  I really can’t explain why I did that, and it left me so completely frustrated with myself that I deleted a bunch of apps last night before I went to bed.  

Today I’m easing into an attempt at a digital fast (she types into the iPad, lol).  So, clearly it’s not going to be a complete fast, but I’m committed to cutting way back.  My intention was to even do all of my writing with pen and paper, but I decided to go ahead and type the blog post for simplicity’s sake.

And so last evening as my head was spinning and I was berating myself for wasting so much time over the course of this summer - and yesterday in particular - the Lord spoke.  Really, He’d been speaking all day.  I’d been sort of trying to listen, sort of trying to respond… sort of.  Mostly I was making excuses and choosing to do anything but stop and focus.

I’m embarrassed to admit that losing a game is what finally got my attention.  I failed to solve a word puzzle in the allotted number of tries and ended a pretty decent winning streak.  But I wasn’t paying attention because I was too busy being frustrated with all the things that I hadn’t gotten done.

Realizing how affected I was by that silly loss drove me to repentance.

Which was exactly what I needed, however ridiculous the means by which I got there.

You see, I have been so incredibly frustrated at the things I haven’t done this summer.  Some of you know that the book I’d hoped to have published by summer 2021 remains unfinished.  SEVERAL other writing projects fall into that same category.  And I didn’t manage a single post to the blog in the entire month of July.

These things frustrate me because I have never had such a perfect opportunity to write and create as I have had this summer.  I would say that these are things that I feel called to do, and yet I just have not been able to get them done.  

I have been distracted.

And so I am starting this process to try to eliminate some bit of distraction with this “digital fast” I’m attempting.  That’s just a choice I’m making because I think it will help me personally.

But the fun thing about it is that it’s not some “command” from the Lord.  

See, I’ve tried to blame my personal frustrations about my unfinished projects on the Holy Spirit.  I’ve categorized my feelings as “conviction.”  I’ve expended all kinds of energy feeling guilty about the things I haven’t gotten done and about the things I’ve done instead.  My thinking has all centered on THE THINGS - things I haven’t done but should have and things I have done but shouldn’t have.

But that’s not what the Lord is really concerned with.

This is what God told His people through the prophet Isaiah.  God did not need anyone to build Him a new temple, though multiple times throughout history a temple was built and rebuilt.  The Lord was reminding the people that anything they could make for Him would be made of things He’d created.  He didn’t want their focus to be on building, making, or doing something for Him.  

He wanted their hearts.

The Lord was calling His people to confession of sin, repentance, humility, and reverence.  

He didn’t want something FROM the people.  He just wanted THEM.

And He wants YOU.

What God is wanting from you is not some grand gesture or finished product.  He wants your heart.  

That thing that you’ve felt like the Lord wanted you to do and you haven’t done - I want to encourage you today - God’s not upset with you over that!  He’s not checking His watch wondering when you’re finally going to follow through.  He doesn’t NEED you to do anything for Him.  He’s God!  He really can take care of His own needs!

So relax.  Give yourself a little grace.

You can do “the things” someday.  Or maybe you won’t ever do the things. Either way, it’s okay with God.  He can do “the things” Himself if He really wants them done.

But He wants YOU.

Take a moment today and just breathe.  

Take a breath.  Or two.  

Spend some time in the Word.  And while you’re breathing and reading and praying, ask the Lord to give you a clearer picture of what it is He actually wants from you.  

I like how The Message puts Isaiah 66:2:

“But there is something I’m looking for: a person simple and plain, reverently responsive to what I say.”

Be encouraged today, and stop worrying about “the things.”

…Just a thought…