Silly Prayers

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.  Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone?  Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!     Matthew 7:7-11 ESV

I went for a little run this morning, finally!  I've been nursing a bit of a knee injury for the past month and a half, making running a bit uncomfortable and ill-advised.  Which is not to say that I haven't made a couple of attempts to run prior to today, but today's run left me hopeful...

I intended to write this post a few weeks ago, but I guess the Lord knew that I was still lacking the understanding to complete it, so I found myself busy with other things.

Even now, I'm hesitant to write because I still feel a little silly, so I suspect this is a lesson I'll keep repeating.  But let me tell you a story anyway.

Our story begins with a "silly" prayer.  

I was driving down the road a couple of Saturdays ago, heading home after a couple of long days at work, making a list in my head of the things I needed/wanted to do when I arrived.  A "bonus visit" with my son and his family was fast approaching, as was Thanksgiving, and there were many things I wanted to do to get ready.

On my to-do list was trying to find boots for my grandson, which jogged my memory that I wanted to stop and check the Beall's Outlet in the town I was approaching.  And this is where the prayer began: "Lord, You know I've been wanting to find those boots for Espen.  If You could just-"

That's where I paused.  What was I really asking for here?  What did I expect?  Was God going to just stick a pair of size 1 cowboy boots on the shelf for me to pick up?  Every store I'd been to had long since liquidated their small stash of the boots, and the town I was headed for would certainly have been one of the first to sell out, given the demographic there.  And so began the argument in my head:

"You can't ask God to magically put cowboy boots on the shelf at that store!"

"Of course He COULD put boots there, but I don't really think that's how God works."

"What can I ACTUALLY ask for that wouldn't be so ridiculous?"

"Should I even bother to stop since I know those boots are long gone from Inverness?"

"But I won't know if I don't at least try.  It's on the way, and, after all, I did visit ALL of the stores near home."

I think the prayer I finally landed on was something to the effect of, "Lord, I don't even know what I'm asking for here, but I sure would like to get those boots for my Buddy."  That was all.  And on I drove.

I almost missed the turn to the shopping center.  Actually, I turned into the wrong one.  As I navigated my way toward the right lot, I almost decided to just skip it.  But I figured as long as I was that close, I may as well go in.

You will probably not be nearly as surprised as I was that there in the Beall's Outlet in Inverness, Florida were the exact boots in the exact size I was looking for!  I snatched them up and headed for the checkout with a ridiculous (I'm sure) grin on my face.  As the lady rung up my purchase she said, "You have a $5 reward available.  Do you want to use it?"  I rarely shop at Beall's, and I couldn't possibly have spent enough to have earned any sort of discount, but I accepted it as a blessing of course.

As I walked back to my car, still grinning that ridiculous grin, all I should have been thinking was how good my God is!  But truthfully?  I was thinking, "I wonder if people in Inverness don't shop at their Beall's?"  "How weird is it that in a town with a decent population of wonderful Florida rednecks there would still be boys' cowboy boots available when they were all sold out in the city?"

But, as I got back on the road for my four-hour drive home, I meditated on the amazing way that my good God cares for me.  He answered a prayer that I didn't feel like I had the right to pray.  People are suffering from terrible illness; others are mourning lost loved ones; many are hurting and troubled.  And there's Susan, praying for boots!  

In my mind, I believed that God must have rolled His eyes when I started that silly prayer.

But that's not what happened.

I suspect that what really leaves God shaking His head at me is not that I sometimes pray for silly things.  I think He shakes His head that I DON'T.   He's told me in His Word that I can ask - for ANYTHING!  But I'm here thinking He's busy taking care of important stuff, and I don't want to "bother" Him.

Which brings me back to my morning run...

After weeks of resting my knee, bemoaning the fact that I wanted to go for a run but shouldn't, after ordering a knee brace on Amazon, after reading articles online trying to determine the nature of my injury, after wondering how much a doctor visit to get it properly checked might cost, after thinking "I really should get some insurance," after everything else - it finally occurred to me to pray about it.  

Now, it's not as if I haven't been praying.  I've been praying about lots of things, some very serious things and some less urgent matters. 

So last week, I finally prayed that God would heal my knee.  It was that simple.  My knee hurt a little less that day.  It hurt even less the following day.  And today I went for a short run, not at all fast, but it was a run.  And my knee felt as good after the run as it did before the run.  The rest of my body loudly pointed out that I haven't run in a few weeks and that I should ease back into things, but the knee did great. 

So here's what I'm maybe finally starting to understand: God controls the universe.  All of it!  

You probably already knew that.  I did.  Well, I thought I did.  I mean, I DO.  But clearly I've missed the ramifications.

God controls it all.

He controls the muscles and bones and joints in my body.  If something is messed up, He's aware, and He's more than able to fix it.  He could have fixed that knee at any point, but He decided to wait for me to ask.

He also controls all of the matter in the universe, which means that - odd as it may seem - He controls store inventory.  So whether He'd kept those boots hidden in a stockroom to be discovered and placed on the rack just in time for me to find them, whether He miraculously added a pair of boots to the inventory as I was driving that Saturday morning, or even if He just delayed any other shoppers looking for little boys size 1 cowboy boots from wandering into the Beall's Outlet in Inverness - however He did it, He did it!

Now, I'm not suggesting that you should prioritize praying about your shopping list.  

What I AM suggesting is that when we fail to talk to God about the little details of life, we miss opportunities to see Him work.  

If something matters to you, it matters to God.  He may not always say yes, but often He does, if we will just ask.  As much as I love to give good gifts (even frivolous, unnecessary gifts) to my kids and grandkids, my Heavenly Father loves to give good gifts to His children, including me.

So can I encourage you today - just ask.  Ask God for whatever it is that's on your mind.  He already knows what you want.  He might not say yes, but He might.  He loves you and He wants good things for you.

Whatever the outcome, if you've prayed about it, you can rest assured you've got His answer on the matter.  So even if the answer was no, at least you'll have some direction.

And it just might be a YES!

...Just a thought...

God Knows

“Before they call I will answer; while they are yet speaking I will hear.”     ‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭65‬:‭24‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Life has been really busy lately!  It hasn’t been a “bad” busy - just busy, with little time for simple pleasures like writing.  My schedule just became abruptly less busy, and while the circumstances of my newfound freedom have left me reeling, I am thankful to have time again to put some thoughts into written words.

To say the past week has been a hard one would be a bit of an understatement.  In the history of hard weeks, we’ve had a few others like this one.  But the hard season that you’re in always tends to be the most painful.  The wounds are fresh and raw.  So a change of scenery seemed to be in order.

Throughout this past week or so, the phrase with which I’ve encouraged myself and my husband has been short and simple - “God knows.”  This has brought a little peace as we’ve considered a situation where we were misjudged, mistreated, and wounded.  God knows.  God knows where there has been dishonesty.  God knows the who, what, where, and how.  And He is big enough to handle it.  That’s how I WAS applying the phrase…

But with new eyes I’m understanding that’s not all that God knows. God knew that this was going to be a hard week.  And while I’m not so self-absorbed as to believe that God has scheduled everyone’s lives around my needs, I am still in awe of how He creates intersections at precisely the right times and places to bring encouragement.

A year ago some friends began planning their Florida vacation from Maine.  They didn’t plan a vacation to see us, nor had they planned a visit to our location.

Meanwhile, some event promoter had scheduled a Toby Mac concert at EPCOT.  I recently discovered that this concert would be happening and thought it would be fun to attend.  

And a little over a month ago Jeff and I decided to treat ourselves to theme park passes that would make attending this concert feasible.  So when life felt like it was falling apart, it seemed a good time to get out of town for a couple of days to regroup.

So that’s the backstory.

I was contacted by an old friend the other day.  Our families were once close, but we haven’t seen each other in YEARS.  They happened to be visiting Florida, and, thanks to our freed-up schedule, Jeff and I happened to be planning our getaway to a neighborhood close to where our friends were staying (several hours away from our home).  And so we began to formulate a plan to meet up.

During a break in a rainy evening, we sat outside and reconnected over coffee.  It was such a time of encouragement and refreshing.  And as we shared joys and hurts, I repeated that phrase that has become my theme song for this season - God knows.

And I was fully overwhelmed at the implications.

I am so grateful for a God who knows just what I need, just when I’m going to need it.  He’s a God who operates outside of time and space to create an intersection - a “God-incidence” - for encouragement and healing to occur.

I didn’t ask.  

He just did it. 

He knew.

I am blessed.

…Just a thought…

Showing Up

Standing near the cross were Jesus’ mother, and his mother’s sister, Mary (the wife of Clopas), and Mary Magdalene.  When Jesus saw his mother standing there beside the disciple he loved, he said to her, “Dear woman, here is your son.” And he said to this disciple, “Here is your mother.” And from then on this disciple took her into his home.     John 19:25-27

In case you hadn't realized, it's Mother's Day on Sunday.  And while the greeting card companies may have a lot to do with how this occasion is celebrated in the US, I think we can all agree that mothers should be celebrated.

Perhaps it is because Resurrection Sunday fell late this year, but a particular event in the life of a particular mother is what's been on my mind heading into this Mother's Day weekend.

Mary, the mother of Jesus, clearly wins the award for the most significant mother in the history of the world.  And I believe there are a lot of important lessons we can learn from her, and from the way Scripture references her.  

Today, though, I just want to consider Mary - at the cross.

The Scriptures tell us that she was there.  

And honestly, this mama's heart can't even fathom what that must have been like for her.  As I try to type these words, my heart is just breaking for her.  How do you stand by and watch your son be executed?  

If that had been me, I think I would have gone "mama bear" on the Roman soldiers!  I'd probably have ended up getting my own self killed, or, at the very least arrested.

But if I hadn't been killed or arrested before they got to Golgotha, I don't know that I could have stayed.

Mary stayed.

She was looking on as unthinkable things were being done to her son.  She saw him injured, in unspeakable pain, bleeding.  And there was nothing she could do about it.

But she stayed.

All she had to offer in that moment was her presence, and so that is what she gave.  It was her final gift to the special boy she'd given birth to just about 33 years prior.  

These three verses from the book of John give us a bit of insight into Mary's relationship with her firstborn.  Clearly, they were close.  Mary was blessed to have a front row seat for the greatest moments in history, and clearly her son cared for her.  Thus He initiated one of the most painful yet beautiful adoption stories of all time, right from the cross.  

I've always found this a little puzzling.  We know that Mary had other sons.  It would seem that they should have been the ones to look after Mary when Jesus was gone.  And we know that John had a mother - she'd asked Jesus for special consideration for her sons.  

So why did Jesus assign responsibility for His mom to John?

Here's my best guess - and it's only a guess, so take it with a grain of salt.  Even in His human form, Jesus remained God.  Omniscient, He already knew the fate of His brothers and of the other disciples.  Perhaps, knowing that John would live out his life and eventually die a natural death, Jesus gave John charge over His own mother.  He placed her in the care of the disciple who was going to outlive Mary.  Maybe.  

Whatever the underlying reason for this adoption story, Jesus's love for Mary was obvious.

As was her love for Him.

On a day where I might, at best, have been found huddled in a dark corner somewhere weeping, Mary showed up.

She showed up.

For the most excruciating moments of her son's life - and without a doubt the most excruciating moments of her own life - she showed up.  She stayed.

She was with Him at the moment of incarnation.  She carried Him from conception to birth.  And she stayed.  

Through it all.

I think that's the lesson I want to take from Mary this Mother's Day - this lesson in showing up.

To the young mom who is exhausted and just wants a full night's sleep and five minutes to herself - keep showing up.  To the mom of teens who have her wanting to pull out the hairs that haven't prematurely grayed in this season - keep showing up.  To the mom whose adult children don't need her the same way anymore, who don't call, who may have strayed, struggled, or rejected her - keep holding onto hope, and keep showing up.

So today, whether you're a mother or not, woman or man, Mary is such a great example for us all.  Her selfless nature, her inner strength, and her dedication to show up in the most painful and difficult moments of life - these are values to challenge us all.

And just know that this same Jesus who had a plan for caring for His own mother has a plan to care for you too.  Trust Him, and just keep showing up.

Just a thought...

Influence and Outcome

 There's a seldom-considered individual in the story of Holy Week that is on my mind this morning...

We are familiar with the stories - from Palm Sunday through the Resurrection, as Christ-followers, we hear the stories each year.  Or we should.

We consider the many works of Jesus in the final days before His death.  We remember His washing the disciples' feet.  He even washed the feet of Judas, which is an important lesson for us, but we'll save that for another day.  We remember the Last Supper, Jesus' prayer at Gethsemane, His arrest, trials, and the Crucifixion.  We consider His words from the cross, the details regarding His burial, and we look forward with anticipation to His Resurrection.

But tucked away in a single verse of Scripture is a detail we don't spend a lot of time contemplating, but it's a detail I can't get out of my head this Good Friday morning.

Besides, while he was sitting on the judgment seat, his wife sent word to him, “Have nothing to do with that righteous man, for I have suffered much because of him today in a dream.” Matthew 27:19 ESV

Pilate's wife is mentioned only once in Scripture.  But in that one mention, we can learn a lot.

Here's what we know about Mrs. Pilate: 

• she had some understanding of who Jesus was
• she had some influence with her husband
• that influence was limited
• God's will always prevails

Was Pilate's wife a follower of Christ?  We can only speculate.  But we know that she called Jesus "righteous,"  so she must have had some level of understanding.

Pilate valued the counsel of his wife.  This is significant, and fairly counter-cultural for this time in history.  Though a woman of position in Roman nobility, she was still a woman, and thus had little, if any, power of her own.  But she had her husband's ear.  And when she sent word to Pilate, Pilate listened.  He wanted to release Jesus.  

John writes, 

From then on Pilate sought to release him, but the Jews cried out, “If you release this man, you are not Caesar's friend. Everyone who makes himself a king opposes Caesar.”   John 19:12 ESV

Pilate's wife may have had some influence on him, but ultimately that influence was limited.  It was overshadowed by the draw of popularity and political favor.  Though Pilate knew the right thing to do, and he even tried to do the right thing, when the moment of decision came, Pilate made the wrong decision.

Now, we know that in all of this God was at work.  Jesus had to die for our sins.  It had been prophesied.  It had been planned from the foundation of the earth.  The crucifixion absolutely was going to happen.

But Pilate could have chosen not to participate.  

But he did participate.  Pilate may have washed his hands to ease his conscience, but then he immediately had Jesus brutally beaten, then brutally killed.

I'm feeling a little weary myself today, and my heart goes out to Mrs. Pilate.  If she was already struggling with nightmares and poor sleep before the crucifixion, I can imagine what Friday night must have been like for her!  But history tells us what we need to know about her: she spoke up.  She was concerned and courageous.  And most likely she was exhausted and frustrated.  

But can't you just imagine her relief and her joy when news of the Resurrection got out?!

What I need to remember today is that God's plans always prevail.  Things don't always go the way they "should."  Sometimes wicked people will be used in bringing about God's will.  Sometimes wise counsel will be rejected.  Bad things may happen.  But even human weakness cannot thwart the ways of God.  He is the God who can take what is evil and use it for good.

I find that comforting.

...Just a thought...

What Light Does (and what it doesn’t do)

You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.     Matthew 5:14-16 ESV

I know I’ve been fairly absent lately, and I’m sorry about that.  I’ve been fairly overextended of late, but that’s not a great excuse.

There’s just so much on my mind today, I thought I’d try to get some of it into words and maybe free up some mental real estate, lol.  But the problem is, there’s just so much going on in my head that it’s hard to pick a topic.

Ever since our recent trip to Brazil, the subject of “light” has been resonating with my soul, and specifically, I’ve been considering what it really means to let my light shine.

In Brazil, though our visit was prompted by tragedy and loss, I was just so encouraged by the amazing growth I observed.  We had a chance to visit one of the churches we became acquainted with on our first trip to Brazil in 2010. 

It was so exciting to see that among the church leadership now are several young adults we met as children nearly 15 years ago.  To see them serving and teaching was an absolute thrill! In fact, my son now pastors that church!

The building itself was almost unrecognizable!  Flimsy plastic chairs have been replaced by sturdy chairs.  Water filtration consisting of two stacked plastic buckets has been replaced by a built-in, plumbed drinking water system.  There’s dedicated educational space with walls and windows and tables and chairs, and there’s even stained glass in the sanctuary.   

But as I sat in a Wednesday night service in this precious church in an impoverished Brazilian community, not understanding the language being spoken and sung around me, the Lord spoke to my heart.

“Where light shines, darkness cannot overcome.”

I thought of my sweet boys who had just lost their brother, each one dealing with the loss a little differently, and each one approaching life a little differently in general.  I thought of the one who is choosing the way of the world, even though he knows better.  I thought of the one who is being tempted by hopes of money and fame.  I thought of the one who is young and just finding his way, now just a little quieter and a little more broken at having just suffered great loss.  

But it was in his quiet eyes that I saw light.  It wasn’t very bright in the moment.  The pain was still so fresh and so raw.  But the light was there.

When John wrote to introduce the world to the Savior, he wrote,

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.     John‬ ‭1‬:‭5‬ ‭ESV‬‬

As we returned to the States, I have continued to meditate on this matter of darkness and light.  We are living in a dark time.  There is much suffering and hopelessness and anxiety and need.  

And the community in which we find ourselves called to minister sits under the weight of much darkness.  

This is the point that struck me to the core.

This community should not be in darkness.  

The church is there.

We are there as light.  Jesus said, “YOU ARE THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD.”  

In the midst of this dark community, there is more than one church that claims to exist for the purpose of furthering the cause of Christ.  So why does our community remain in darkness?

The simple truth cannot be denied: we are not shining.

This both saddens and challenges me. 

I’m just a single, tiny flicker in the darkness, but I MUST keep my light shining.  When the darkness is thick, it only takes a little bit of light to make the space brighter.

And I MUST encourage believers around me to do the same.  I’m finding that is the hard part.  

The fact is that we as the church have been complacent.  We have not been living in such a way as to illuminate the darkness around us.  Sadly, my observation is that some of that is intentional.  Because we think that we won’t have to deal with what we do not see.

Where light shines, need is revealed.  Where need is revealed, we must make a choice to meet the need or to ignore it.  

We have come to the point that requires some simple answers: yes or no?  Move or stay?  Grow or die?

In truth, a little light can make you feel comfortable right where you’re at.  It reveals just enough to let you know that you are not in immediate danger.  That is one thing that light does.  If you want to stay put, light will lull you into a sense of security.  The problem is, if you don’t shine the light in the shadows, your security may be short-lived.  

Sitting still in the light keeps you from understanding what is possible.  It’s possible that there is danger lurking.  It’s also possible that there is opportunity very near.  But if you just remain stationary, you’ll never know until it is too late.

Light can also show you the way back to where you’ve already been.  It can point you back to your comfort zone, if you really want to go there.  But that’s kind of a waste.  Even car manufacturers understand this.  That’s why headlights are so much brighter than taillights.

But what I’m observing is that our churches are populated with wilderness-era Israelites.  They know that Egypt was miserable, but the wilderness brought change, and so instead of relishing the daily miracles, they’re longing for the past.  Folks are so busy looking in the rear view mirror that they’re missing the blessings and opportunities that are right in front of them.

Meanwhile, younger, newer members are getting lost in the shuffle.  They’re not hung up on the past because they weren’t there.  And every backward step our churches take pushes another individual - or group - out.  Hopefully, they’ll look to see where the light shines brightly, and they’ll go there.  But when the community is dark, light can be hard to find.

My encouragement today is this:

Don’t be short-sighted.  Look ahead.

I understand nostalgia.  We miss the way things used to be.  But the truth is, no matter how hard we try, we can’t really go back.  But if we keep on trying to go back, we’re going to miss out on a beautiful future ahead.

…Just a thought…

 

CHOOSE

Who is the man who fears the Lord? Him will he instruct in the way that he should choose.     Psalm‬ ‭25‬:‭12‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Happy New Year!

Yesterday was about reflecting, which I think is so important.  While it can be easy for us to spend too much time looking back, a little reflection is vital to helping us remember the goodness and faithfulness of God.

Today, though, is a great time to think about looking forward - just a bit - and about new beginnings.  Planning can be so helpful!  But we must hold onto those plans loosely, recognizing that when our plans don’t align with God’s plan, His way is ALWAYS better!

I mentioned yesterday that “content” was my 2024 “word of the year.”  Truly the whole idea of choosing a word for the year is not a habit I intentionally subscribe to, and yet, here I am with a word for 2025.  

While I was driving last week and doing some reflecting, a new goal came to mind, summed up in a single word: CHOOSE.

I tend to stay a little frustrated with myself when it comes to the matter of time management.  I am often unfocused.  I am easily distracted.  My list of unfinished projects and my often untidy house will attest to these facts.

So as I was reflecting on how poorly I felt I did with last year’s goal of creating content, a simple realization illuminated: I CHOSE to do other things.  

It’s really not that complicated, is it?

Life is absolutely full of choices.  Some of them have obvious, serious ramifications.  Others seem insignificant.  And yet, the reality is that even those small, seemingly insignificant choices can have far-reaching effects.  

I CHOOSE how I spend my time.

When I sit down on the couch, pull out my phone, and open an app - any app, really - I’ve made a choice.  When I realize that I just wasted a hour scrolling reels rather than getting the kitchen cleaned, the bottom line is that I made that choice.

And I make a lot of pretty poor choices where my time is concerned!

In the time it takes me to play one round of a word game on my phone, I could send an encouraging text to someone.  Instead of spending 45 minutes scrolling my phone when I get in bed at night, I could spend half an hour studying the lesson for the life group I lead on Sundays, and I’d still be able to get to sleep 15 minutes earlier.  Plus I’d feel less stressed on Saturday evenings and better prepared on Sunday mornings.  

I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with watching reels.  And I do love word games and puzzles.  I probably won’t be giving these things up completely.  Really, I just want to walk with greater awareness of what I’m doing.  

There are plenty of things in life over which I have zero control.  But contrary to what I’ve allowed myself to believe, my time is not one of those things   I actually have quite a bit of control in that area.  

So my goal in the new year is to be more aware of what I CHOOSE to do with my time.   I’m committing to try to CHOOSE better in this new year.

With the Lord’s help, I believe change is possible, and I’m so excited to see what He has in store for this year!

…Just a thought…